It is apparently root canal season. I had one a few weeks back, and two co-workers have either had one or are just about to have one. This coincidence sparked a conversation yesterday over (yes) coffee.
First Co-Worker: You’d think with medical technology the way it is that they’d be able to just grow new teeth by now. Just pull the bad tooth and put in a new one. None of this painful root canal stuff.
Second Co-Worker: Yeah but teeth have nerves and stuff. You’d have to like grow it inside your mouth and that’s a lot harder. I don’t think we have the technology to regenerate body parts yet.
Laura: Its the side effects that are a problem. You know, the part where the new tooth grows its own brain and tells you to kill your family with an axe.
(long silence)
Laura: what? you didn’t see that movie?
Yeah, all my stories always involve coffee. I’m not sure what that means. (time for more coffee.)
Today while I was waiting in the starbucks line a very large man came in the door behind me YELLING into his cell phone.
“I know that’s what he told you,” he said, “but I’m sick of that shit. You tell him that he needs to get that work done. You tell him that he’s had three months now and that work isn’t done and he needs to get OFF HIS ASS AND GET THAT SHIT DONE. NO. NO. You’re NOT LISTENING.” The man was poking the air next to my head. I edged away nervously. The people in line behind him edged away nervously. “You need to get on the GODDAMN PHONE AND tell him what I’m telling you. Tell him I WANT THAT WORK DONE AND I WANT IT DONE THIS WEEK OR HE’S GOING TO GET A VISIT DIRECTLY FROM ME AND NO ONE WANTS THAT DO THEY. OK? OK? OK? GOOD.”
The man slapped his phone shut and moved up to the counter. “Hi,” he said to the barista, who edged away nervously. “I’d like a decaf pumpkin latte.”